The Sherbet Makers of Zard


Not since the time of Bill Odie and the Goodies had anyone tried to discover the secrets behind the magic properties of Sherbet, but this was the quest Miss Blimey was now sent on, or so it seemed. She’d received a charter to the far off island of Zard, where the makers of the famous sweet supposedly lived, and her patron was now nestled quietly in the guest quarters. A strange bearded man, small in stature but quite knowledgeable on the subject of sherbet. So far their journey had taken them through many strange seas, passing many ports they did not dare stop at, for fear of non-payment had been put into them by the Patron should they make landfall before Zard.

The sky had finally cleared up earlier on that day, and a pleasant breeze was filling the ships sails, giving the Raven a nice coasting speed. Following their Patron’s directions, it wasn’t long before Miss Blimey spotted the island.

 ‘It looks like he was right after all!’ called Betty H.V from the bow of the Raven, jumping down onto the deck and then heading back towards the stairs that led into the ship. It was time to tell their Patron they had arrived.

Miss Blimey turned the Raven into the harbour of Zard, and soon had her docked and moored. Looking up at her fabulous vessel she could just make out the outline of their Patron standing next to Betty hates Veronica as they both took in the strange view before them. Not far off was a little village, home to, what Patron assured them, were the actual sherbet makers themselves. Miss Blimey almost laughed to herself at the thought of having sailed someone hundreds of miles only to find the little sherbet makers, whom she was already picturing as looking like pixies, frantically cooking up sherbet in their small works, and twitching like crazy from a sugar fuelled frenzy. 

‘Come on, we need to get you into town and settled in, Patron’ stated Miss Blimey and stalked off towards the nearest road.

Strolling through the small town Miss Blimey and her crew were soon approached and promptly arrested. It seems the residents of Zard didn’t take kindly to giant visitors from other parts of the world.

Betty hates Veronica looked like she was ready for a fight, but Miss Blimey signalled for her stand down, and allow the little people to think they had their interlopers under control. In truth Miss Blimey was surprised to find that her assumption that the people of Zard would be hyperactive fairy folk was not too far from the reality. She’d just never expected them to be so suspicious or aggressive. 

‘Too much sugar,’ Miss Blimey muttered under her breath as they arrived at the Zard jail.

At this point Betty hates Veronica could contain herself no longer and began laughing hysterically. It was obvious there was no way any of them would fit inside the jailhouse building, it was the size of a dollhouse! The Zardians looked sorely confused, and began babbling incessantly at each other, while nearby their Patron sat down hard on the ground and refused to speak until the matter was resolved. Only Miss Blimey seemed to understand the seriousness of the situation, and turned to the Zardian pixie people.  

‘Look here,’ she said sternly, stifling a giggle of her own, ‘clearly we’re not going to fit inside your jail, and you can’t hold us against our will, it’s just not physically possible … so far I’ve been very patient with you, but this madness stops here lest you feel the anger of my blade.’

‘Uh….. what do we do then?’ asked the tallest of the sherbet makers, ‘we only arrested you as we can’t have you walking willy nilly around our town, you giants would destroy it all with one false move! To be honest, we think it would be best if you just left.’

‘And we’re happy to go, we only came to drop off our Patron here, that man sitting on the ground,’ replied Miss Blimey, pointing in the Patron’s direction.

‘Patron?’ asked the tall pixie sherbet maker, stepping towards the man and eying him curiously.

 ‘Yes, it is I, your Patron!’ came the quick reply as the man stood up and finally pulled back the hood of his cape to reveal a friendly face attached to a long beard.

The Zardians gasped and all dropped to their knees suddenly, bowing their heads and keening in some strange new language that Miss Blimey couldn’t catch.

Miss Blimey and Betty hates Veronica did not know what to make of it all, and began slowly backing away, swords drawn in case some kind of joyful, worshipful, sugar riot should erupt in the street.

‘You have returned finally, as prophesised,’ said the tallest Zardian.

‘Indeed I have, to show you the pure ways of sherbet once again, you have lost the true recipe and it’s magic powers have waned this many a year,’ stated Patron sternly. 

‘Forgive us oh great Patron!’ shouted the Zardians in chorus, and began running in circles, performing what Miss Blimey could only assume was some kind of strange apology dance.

‘We better get out of here Betty my love,’ whispered Miss Blimey and together they crept out of the village, careful not to trip over a library or town hall or something.

Once they were back on their ship, the two girls burst into uproarious giggles, unable to look towards the town without imagining the crazy scene, which must still be playing out there.

When they eventually calmed down, Miss Blimey turned and opened a medium-sized silver box, which had left on a small table on the ship’s decking by their Patron. Inside it she found their fee for delivery.  

‘Looks like we got a bonus!’ smiled Miss Blimey, tipping the money out onto the bed and finding that along with it were several boxes of sherbet lollies.

 ‘Sweet,’ said Betty hates Veronica, which only served to start them laughing hysterically all over again.  

The End