The Fate of Betty hates Veronica


Miss Blimey looked across the deck of the Raven at her friend and thought back to how they had met. Betty Hates Veronica was a mystery to most who met her, with her pale skin and ice white hair she could be mistaken for an albino, but one look into her dark eyes told you this was no ordinary girl. Miss Blimey had found her while wandering through the port of Evileen, wasting time while she waited for the supplies she had purchased from the General Store to be delivered to her ship. Tethered to a pole outside the Tired Axolotl Tavern, Betty hates Veronica was being used as a whipping post by the drunks who frequented the bar. Though they were not allowed to physically touch her, it seemed they had a deal with the barman where they could inflict upon Betty hates Veronica welt after welt, though they would be made to stop before her skin actually broke. This way the barman could continue to offer his customers their sport night after night without having to wait for Betty hates Veronica to heal. A small sign nearby even promoted the Tavern's favourite form of entertainment – Whip the Girl, 3 Lashes for a Piece of Silver.  

Miss Blimey felt her blood begin to boil as the colour rose to her cheeks like she had just eaten a small garden full of hot peppers. Growling in anger, Miss Blimey let her breath out slowly, in a low hiss, her temper barely hanging on by a thread. She knew what she had to do. She could not stand by and see the disgusting treatment of such a beautiful creature continue. With her face set in a grimace of fury, Miss Blimey turned abruptly and stormed off round the side of the building, slamming through the doors of the Tired Axolotl. Inside she was met with a cacophony of noise as the bars early evening crowd settled in for a night of wine, beer and song with the occasional fight thrown in for good measure. The barman watched the angry woman approaching him with a vague smile and an air of amusement. Trouble often came calling at this bar, but as the barman knew trouble also found itself immediately and unceremoniously kicked out the door again - much to the delight of the locals. So when Miss Blimey approached him and bluntly stated she would be removing his star attraction, the barman openly laughed in her face. Miss Blimey bristled. She had expected an argument, but not ridicule. The barman in turn felt he had the upper hand and so nothing to fear. He was about to find out just how wrong he was about a lot of things.

‘I don’t see why you think this is so amusing, you must know I am perfectly serious or are you simply too stupid to figure it out? I am taking the girl and you can accept it graciously, or suffer the consequences,' she reiterated in a voice so low and calm it was frightening.

'Oh, I can see you are serious, but there is no way a slip of a girl like you is taking my Betty away, the patrons will be most upset,’ smiled the barman, indicating to the whole room with a sweep of his hand.

At this movement there was a mass scraping of chair legs on the floor behind them, and what seemed like the entire bar got to its feet to back up the barman. 

'You see?' he continued with a smirk, 'and now most unfortunately for you, I think you will have to either join her out there in the dirt, or die. What is it to be?' 

Miss Blimey sighed. She had warned him, and he had ignored her. Why did these wise guys always feel like they had it made? As if she would just bow down and accept her fate as the new whipping toy.

Slowly she turned to face the angry mob behind her, using the few precious moments before anything happened to size up her opponents. Absently she patted one of the flintlocks at her side, grateful for its comforting weight, though she hoped she would not need to use them as shooting wasn't really her style.

'Get her!' yelled the barman suddenly, but Miss Blimey did not flinch.

In a blur of fists and cutlasses, they came at her with everything they had. However, things don’t always go as planned, and several yelps of surprise could be heard as one by one the miscreants in the bar fell heavily to the floor. Amidst the settling dust of broken furniture and spilt drinks, blood and the moans of the wounded, Miss Blimey turned back to face the barman. The only man left standing in the room. Looking him up and down in disdain, she wondered what he would do now, every nerve in her body tingling with adrenalin as she made ready to fight to the last. The barman in turn took one look at all the bloodied bodies on the floor, and shaking with fear, anger and humiliation he threw a set of keys at the pirate girl before turning towards the back of the bar and making a run for it out the back. Miss Blimey let him go. She had what she wanted and she also felt it couldn’t do any harm for him to spread this story and stake her reputation as a pirate you did not mess with.

Putting the keys in her pocket, Miss Blimey grabbed a bar rag lying on the counter and wiped down her cutlass before putting it back in its sheath. A pirate always made sure their weapons were in good, clean working order. It was part of the code. And without a backward glance she headed back outside to retrieve the girl.

Racing back towards her ship, Miss Blimey had bundled the tired and confused girl on board the Raven and set sail the hell out of the harbour. Out on the bay and in the safety of the wide open ocean Miss Blimey had kept a close eye on Betty hates Veronica as she recovered from her ordeal, but she was never able to find out how Betty hates Veronica had come to be imprisoned at the Tired Axolotl Tavern in the first place. Betty hates Veronica never wanted to speak of it, and after a while Miss Blimey stopped asking, but she had finally found a loyal first mate to share her adventures on the Severed Seas.

The End